Travel Down the Road and Back Again

When I was little, one of my absolute favorite shows was The Wonder Years.  As much as I enjoyed watching the trials and tribulations of little Kevin Arnold and the sweet voiceovers, the thing that pulled me in was the theme song:

“With a Little Help From My Friends” by the amazing Joe Cocker. 

I had no idea that The Beatles sang it first until the show was off of the air. I dismiss most remakes as pale imitations of the originals* but in this case, there is simply no comparison.  I have no desire to denigrate The Beatles (who many people worship as Gods…they were never my deal) but even if we put the magnificent quality of Cocker’s voice aside, his version is superior because it broadcasts raw emotion.

In the Beatles’ version, Ringo is going through the motions.  He sounds equal parts melancholy, hopeful and dopey. His friends help him out sometimes – maybe they lend him that two pounds he needs for a proper English Breakfast with extra beans in tomato sauce or get him drunk when a woman dumps him for one of his hotter bandmates.  When Ringo is sad, his friends will listen, pat him on the head and say a few encouraging words.  Then Ringo will magically feel better and hop dopily into the sunshine.

By contrast, I get the sense listening to Joe Cocker’s version that he really does get by with a little help from his friends...  Cocker sounds like he is hanging by a string even with them. 

Ringo’s friends are at least essential to superficial happiness. Joe’s friends are literally his lifeline. Joe’s friends pick him up off of the bar floor after he has passed out in a pool of his own vomit after binge drinking following life’s latest disappointment.  They clean him off in the shower and force water down his throat before fixing him a nice bed on the sofa.  Then, they park a chair by the sofa and watch Joe for long enough to ensure he does not choke on his own vomit.  The next morning, Joe will have a massive headache and he and his friends will sit down to a meal of toxic black coffee and perfectly greasy bacon.  They’ll listen to him air his grievances, offer some words of comfort or advice and tell Joe that he needs to pull it together.  Of course, everyone enjoying bacon knows that they will all be back in the space soon, stoic and unwilling to abandon Joe as he fights his demons.

Ringo has friends.  Joe has FRIENDS.

I have FRIENDS.  The same way I have FAMILY.  Without FRIENDS and FAMILY under/unemployment would be unbearable.

I should have done this post sooner but I was especially inspired yesterday.  After working an 8 hour shift (had to get up at quarter to six) which included making a large non fat latte for my former college roommate (at Harvard law by the way and summering at a firm where she makes more in a week than I do in a month.  “Disillusioned! Table for One!”), I came home to discover a package from B3 (cubed) even though I am not getting married or moving. 

It was amazing Eucalyptus jersey sheets.  Sheets fit for a Queen (or, at least, Pippa Middleton).  This level of empathy and thoughtfulness is quite rare in people, but not uncommon amongst my favorite people. So, a shout out to Ms. Frank, the inspiration for this post: an amazing woman and a fabulous friend.

When it comes to FRIENDS I lucked out.  I scored the Megamillions (or Powerball, whichever is bigger). I do hate to get all Jebus-y but I am blessed.

I want to highlight just a few of the awesome things friends have done for me through my unemployment/underemployment that has helped keep the Black Days more limited in number than they would otherwise be:

·      Buy me brunch; bonus if it included unlimited mimosas and you chided me and insulted my womanhood when I only drank four.

·      Visit me and take me to new places to DC (even though I am the one who lives here)

·      Treat me to Yuenling draft

·      Continue to invite me to places even when I hermit it up 80% of the time

·      Fly/travel to see me in a foreign country and then wait outside in the mercurial Swedish weather to cheer me on in a half marathon.

·      Put me up in New York and Atlanta and Goteborg and wherever else I decide to invite myself

·      Send me job announcements laced with heavy hints that I should move to where they live

·      Indulge my desire to do things like eat Big Gay Ice Cream and run in Central Park

·      Find the perfect balance between respecting my space, inquiring after my welfare and encouraging me.

·      Send me salacious emails about former classmates and celebrities.

·      Listen to me when I bitch and moan (totally includes reading this blog. Pat yourself on the back, friend!)

This is totally how I feel about you guys:

In a maudlin, 80s, too-much-fabulousness-for-one-room-way:

In an early 90s-kicking-the-heroin-habit -together-way (I am Anthony; You are Hillel):

Or, in the quintessential way:

Octavia Butler (RIP) perhaps said it best:

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.”

*Exceptions:

Love Song – 311 (The Cure)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World – Iz (Judy Garland/Louis Armstrong)

The Scientist, Hallelujah and Help Me Make it Through the Night - Willie Nelson (Coldplay, Leonard Cohen, Kris Kristofferson)

Help Me Make it Through the Night  - Gladys Knight (Kris Kristofferson)

Walk On By – Seal (Dionne Warwick)

Love You Down – Me’shell Ndgeocello (INoJ)

Hurt – Johnny Cash (Nine Inch Nails)

Against All Odds – Postal Service (Phil Collins)

Spooky – Dusty Springfield (Classics Four)

I’ll be There – Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz (The Jackson 5)

Rolling In the Deep – John Legend (Adele)